Autism is often described as a spectrum, but that word can sometimes feel abstract. It simply means that no two autistic children will experience the world in the same way. 

While two children may share a diagnosis, their strengths, challenges, communication styles and personalities can all be different. Recognising this early can help parents and carers move away from comparison, and towards understanding the individual child in front of them. 

There is no single blueprint for raising or supporting an autistic child, and that is okay. It is a reminder that support must be flexible, thoughtful and personal. 

Looking beyond the label 

A diagnosis is helpful to provide clarity, open doors to support, and help families make sense of behaviours that previously felt confusing.  But a label isn’t enough to tell you everything about how a child works.  

One child may struggle with loud environments but communicate confidently.  

Another may prefer quiet spaces and find social interaction exhausting. 

One may thrive with structure, while another may feel pressured by a strict routine. 

When you look beyond the diagnosis and focus on your child as an individual, you might be able to see strengths as clearly as you can see challenges. 

Remember, strengths and challenges will differ 

It’s common for parents to read about autism and not recognise all traits. This can sometimes lead to comparison or overwhelm. 

The truth is that autistic children can have very different profiles. Understanding your child’s unique combination of strengths and difficulties helps shape the kind of support that will work best for them. 

Avoid comparison 

It can be easy to compare progress, particularly when speaking with other parents or reading online experiences.  

But progress is rarely linear, and it doesn’t always look the same from one child to another. Milestones may arrive in a different order, or at a different pace. 

Focusing on small, individual steps forward is often more helpful than measuring against external expectations. 

Working with schools 

Treating autism individually is especially important in educational settings.  

Clear communication with schools, therapists and support staff can help ensure that adjustments are tailored, not standardised.  

Individual understanding for your child’s specific needs leads to more meaningful support. 

Supporting growth at home 

At home, flexibility is equally important. What works at one stage of development may need adjusting later. Children grow, environments change, and needs evolve. 

It can be a hard balance to find, but maintaining predictable routines while remaining flexible can help children feel secure while still allowing space for development. 

Above all, recognising your child as an individual, rather than a checklist of traits,  helps create an environment built on acceptance. 

A final note from Oliver Larholt

Autism does not come with a single path or fixed outcome. I think it is quite beautiful that each child will navigate the world in their own way, with their own strengths, interests and challenges. 

When we move away from the idea of a “standard” autistic experience, we allow space for children to grow in a way that feels authentic to them. 

There isn’t a right approach to follow, only the approach that works for your child.  

For more support, you may find the following resources useful:  

Grants to support children with ASD – Oliver Larholt 

UK charities for Autism Spectrum Disorder – Oliver Larholt 

For many autistic children, school can be a place of both opportunity and anxiety. A common challenge for children with autism is an intolerance of uncertainty, and school environments are full of it. New people, changing routines, and unexpected events can all feel overwhelming. 

Clear, consistent communication between home and school can make a real difference. When parents and educators work together, children are more likely to feel understood and supported. In turn, this helps them engage with learning in a way that works for them. 

Below are some practical ways to navigate school communication and support your child throughout their education. 

Sharing your child’s strengths and needs 

One of the most helpful first steps is ensuring your child’s school understands both their strengths and their difficulties. Autism affects every child differently, and no two children will need the same support. 

Sharing clear, practical information about what helps your child feel confident and safe can help teachers make more informed decisions at school. The Reframing Autism organisation has a great template to use when explaining your child’s needs in a clear and accessible way. 

This approach helps move conversations away from labels and towards understanding. 

Keeping communication regular 

Regular check-ins with school staff allow you to monitor progress and make adjustments when needed. These conversations do not always need to focus on problems; they can also highlight what is working well. 

When communication is consistent, it becomes easier to address challenges before they escalate. 

Preparing for change 

Unpredictability can be one of the most difficult aspects of school life for autistic children. Where possible, ask the school to share information about curriculum changes or special events well in advance. 

This allows you to  

• Prepare your child at home 
• Talk through what to expect 
• Reduce anxiety around the unknown 

At the same time, maintaining a predictable home environment and encouraging independence in daily routines can help support your child’s confidence at school. 

Knowing who to speak to 

Knowing who to contact about your child’s needs can make communication far more effective. 

In many cases, the Special Educational Needs Co-Ordinator (SENCo) is the best point of contact. They are usually responsible for ensuring that different learning needs are recognised and supported. 

For younger children, particularly in primary school, it may be helpful to speak directly with your child’s class teacher as they will have good insight into how your child is managing day to day. 

Encouraging your child to advocate for themselves 

Encourage your child to communicate their needs and understand that asking for support is not something to be ashamed of.  

This may take time and will look different for every child, but building self-advocacy skills can support both confidence and independence over the long term. 

Exploring additional support 

If a school is finding it difficult to meet your child’s learning needs, it may be appropriate to explore additional support options. In some cases, schools can apply for an Education, Health and Care Plan (EHCP). 

An EHCP is a legal document designed to outline a child’s specific needs and the support required to meet them. Read more about how EHCPs work and when they might be right for your child.  

A final note from Oliver Larholt on navigating school communication in an ASD family 

Every child’s school experience will be different; there is no single approach that works for every family.  

Prioritising clear communication and preparation can help create a supportive school environment for neurodivergent children. With the right support in place, children are better able to learn in a way that works for them. 

For more support, you may find the following resources useful:  

Grants to support children with ASD – Oliver Larholt 

UK charities for Autism Spectrum Disorder – Oliver Larholt 

Mealtimes can be a challenging routine to manage as a family. They happen multiple times a day, and different family members may require varying levels of support. For many neurodivergent children, mealtimes can also come with added pressure to behave in certain ways 

Below are some practical ways to make mealtimes feel calmer, safer, and more predictable for neurodivergent children. 

Supporting Your Child 

Children with autism may find mealtimes difficult because of:

• Sensory sensitivities 

• Food preferences 

• Strong aversions to certain foods 

• Or lack of control 

Over time, this can make eating stressful for both children and parents. Knowing they are supported is often the first step in helping a child feel more comfortable around food. 

Build a routine around mealtimes 

Predictability can be very reassuring for neurodivergent children.  

• Try to serve meals at similar times each day  

• Eat food in the same setting if possible 

• Use visual schedules or reminders to help your child prepare for mealtimes 

Keeping mealtimes consistent means there is a structure your child can rely on. 

Create a meal plan with your child 

Involving your child in meal planning can give them a sense of control or reassure them that their preferences are being considered. This could be as simple as offering two options for dinner or allowing them to have their safe foods more often. 

When children feel involved in decisions, they are often more open to engaging with mealtime. 

Limit screen time and sit together for support 

While screens can sometimes feel like a helpful distraction, they can increase dependency during meals. Try to eat together and show calm, positive behaviour around food. 

This also gives you the chance to naturally encourage your child by offering reassurance or encouragement. 

Tips for Parents 

Find the underlying cause 

If mealtimes are consistently difficult, try to identify what might be driving the behaviour. Is it a sensory issue? Is it anxiety about change?  

Understanding the cause can help you respond in a way that supports your child specifically.

Keep a food diary 

A simple food diary can help identify patterns. Try and note: 

• Times of the day that are more difficult 

• If there are specific textures or flavours, they do not get along with 

•  Any potential triggers  

You can use this to spot patterns, address the challenges, and make changes. 

Seek professional guidance  

If eating challenges begin to impact your child’s health or wellbeing, it might be worth getting advice from a GP, dietitian, or therapist.  

Mealtimes will look different for every neurodivergent child, so be sure to pay attention to what your child needs and create an environment that works for them. 

For more support, you can reach out to some of the organisations here:

Grants to support children with ASD – Oliver Larholt

UK charities for Autism Spectrum Disorder – Oliver Larholt

Oliver Larholt shares the tools he uses to support his family during the Christmas season.  

The holiday season period can be magical, but it also comes with noise, bright lights, social expectations, and routine changes that many neurodivergent children find overwhelming. When my son was diagnosed with autism, our family realised that Christmas would be different now. Since then, I’ve learned that the holidays should be approached with two key tactics: 

1. Flexibility, and  

2. Preparation 

Here are some approaches that help us create a calmer, more supportive Christmas season for our son. 

1. Manage expectations –  yours and everyone else’s 

One of the most important things to remember is that Christmas doesn’t need to look the way it does in films, adverts, or other families’ social media posts.  

Expecting a “traditional” Christmas might set you up for stress. Many autistic children struggle with things that define the season like:  

• Bright lights and loud music (sensory overload) 

• Surprises, shouting and laughter (unpredictable events) 

• Parties and time with family (big social gatherings) 

Focus on what works for your family.  

This may means skipping large events, or limiting activities to one a day over time instead of packing everything onto December 25th. 

Tell friends and relatives in advance what Christmas needs to look like for your family. This can help set a supportive tone for everyone involved. 

2. Keep routines wherever possible 

Children with autism often rely on structure for emotional stability, so maintaining some sort of routine, even loosely, can make a huge difference.  

The Christmas period disrupts many regular routines like:  

• School hours 

• Bedtimes  

• Daily habits  

Therefore, it can really help to:  

• Keep consistent mealtimes 

• Use schedules to outline each day 

• Talk to your child about visitors or days out 

A little structure goes a long way to reduce anxiety. 

3. Prepare for social situations in advance 

Family gatherings can be unpredictable. It’s important to work with both your child and the people around you to set expectations early on.  

Here are a few things that might work: 

• Letting relatives know about sensory triggers or support needs 

• Planning shorter visits rather than long all-day events 

• Bringing your child’s familiar toys, headphones, or calming tools 

• Speaking to your child about what the event will be like 

• Having a quiet area to go to if things get overwhelming 

4. Speak to your child 

Every neurodivergent child is different, and every family adapts differently. There is no ‘one size fits all’ method when it comes to a neurodiverse holiday season. 

The best way to navigate Christmas (or any big event) is to talk to your child and have an open conversation about what you can do to support them.  

Whether they love Christmas surprises or want to know everything in advance, it is important to listen to and honour your child’s preferences.  

Final thoughts from Oliver Larholt on navigating a neurodiverse holiday season

Parenting a neurodivergent child teaches you to rethink what “special occasions” should look like. Christmas doesn’t need to be perfect, busy, or loud. It just needs to feel safe and enjoyable for your family. 

By sharing these tools, I hope to help other parents feel confident turning Christmas from a time of stress into a time of connection.